Ah children, what wonderfully brutal and honest creatures. With the power of an undeveloped social filter, they will spurt insults at you like it’s their day job. Sometimes they are joking, but more often than not they are being 100% honest and if a kid calls you ugly, you better hope you’re funny.
Here is an ongoing list of some of the insults and backhanded compliments the kids I look after have given me:
- “I’m sure someone would find you attractive”
- “You look much better with your glasses on”
- “Your voice isn’t that annoying”
- “You look so much different without makeup on”
- “Not exactly skinny… like you!”
- “Your booboos look pointy in that top” (no they weren’t referring to an injury)
- “You know nothing!” (after I had referred to their trousers as pants)
- “What’s wrong with your eyes?! Your makeup makes you look like a witch!” said the 7 year old girl after exclaiming in a way that most people reserve for times when you step in dog poo. And I had people compliment my makeup later that day thank you very much.